Zen Judaism

The Yiddish Parrot

Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home one day. He was wishing something wonderful would happen to his life when he passed a pet store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in Yiddish: "Quawwwwk...vus macht du...!"

Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. He couldn't believe it! Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head and said: "Vus? Kenst reddin Yiddish?"

In a matter of moments, Meyer purchased the bird and carried the parrot home. All night long he talked with the parrot...in Yiddish. The parrot listened while sharing some walnuts.
The next morning, Meyer began saying his prayers. The parrot wanted to pray, too. Meyer hand made a miniature yamulke for the parrot. The parrot also wanted to read Hebrew, so Meyer spent months teaching him the Torah.

On Rosh Hashanah, Meyer rose, got dressed, and was about to leave when the parrot demanded to go with him. Meyer explained that a synagogue was not a place for a bird, but the parrot pleaded and was carried to the synagogue on Meyer's shoulder.
Meyer was questioned by everyone, including the rabbi. At first, the rabbi refused to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days, but Meyer convinced him that the parrot could pray. Wagers were made on whether the parrot could speak Yiddish or not.

All eyes were on the two of them during services. The parrot was still perched on Meyer's shoulder as one prayer and song passed...but the parrot didn’t say a word. Annoyed, Meyer said "Pray, parrot! You can pray...do it now while everybody's looking at you!" The parrot said nothing.

After services were over, Meyer realized he owed the synagogue over four thousand dollars. He marched home, saying nothing. Finally, several blocks from the temple, the bird began to sing an old Yiddish song.

Meyer stopped and looked at him. "You miserable bird...you cost me over four thousand dollars today. Why? After I taught you the morning prayers, taught you to read Hebrew and the Torah. And, after you begged me to bring you to a synagogue on Rosh Hashanah...Why did you do this to me?"

"Don't be an idiot," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds we'll get on Yom Kippur!"

A veritable plague of Frogs

Seems the thermometer has plunged low enough, yet there is some moisture in the air.  The result...frozen fog, or, as I refer to it as Frog.  Amilah the bakery gal referred to it as fairy dusty but that seems to be an approbation. 

Had a not so lovely morning so far.  I awoke to the dulcet tones of Mister Gonif puking his way around the condo.  I didn't find the "bulk" of it until just before I left for work, which, along with some other morning FUBARs, induced me to take some Valium.  Speaking of inducements to Valium myself, closing on Sans Souci will be this Friday so, wait for it, a DAY OFF!!!  Much running around to do, cashier's checks to get, a hair cut in the works, etc.

I can start hauling stuff over to the new abode, Sans Souci this weekend.  Maybe Bernie and Dan can help facilitate some of that move.  Then the work begins.  Bernie to paint and then the heavy work with Brad the contractor.

So, readers of this venerable blog, stay tuned for a open invitation to the Annual Opening Day of Baseball Season party and Open House on April 6th from 2-8.  Sans Souci Awaits you.

You may think your nose it dirty...

But, as my mother used to sing to me, it's snot.  Charming woman, my mother,  the whole of the song went "you've got freckles on your butt....I love you, you may think your nose is dirty but it's s'not!"

I don't know why I bring this up other than to say, well...the shit doesn't fall far from the bat.  Each step in my journey is a step farther removed from that mother.  The first house with PJ was a first step removed from the parental nest.   The current abode a step removed from both PJ and family and I am leaving  some, perhaps all that baggage behind.  The new house a fresh start at the ripe age of sixty. So much new, like actually having not only a bedroom but a bed to put in it.  And, hell, the new kitchen...what says home more than sustenance from my new kitchen made wholesome by my own hands.

The nice thing about the delay in closing was that the interest rate I locked in to has gone down almost half a point to 3.85%...who could complain?

...a tropical heat wave

May not be able to close on the house Monday as planned,  but will definitely close at some point next week.  The mortgage guy need some more paperwork from Dan the Man and Dan just came back from Florida on the 5th.  And this way I will be able to see Hyphen on Monday and not have to brave the ridiculous weather to get to the bank until it 'warms' up next week.

Sophie and I are going to the symphony Saturday and to dinner beforehand.  Be nice to have the symphony to relax to that day.  Sunday, the three muskrats are going to an early supper.  Nice to stay busy while waiting to close.  Meanwhile Toni is coming this weekend to help organize the music room so I can pack some items to give to a coworker at the library for her first apartment.  Maybe then I will be able to get into my closet.  And the hall looks like a staging area for the Normandy Invasion.  Sophie's housewarming gift of an outdoor fire pit is stacked on top of a patio set, which is next to two rolled up rugs and a snow shovel.  Once we close I can start taking stuff over and leave it in the basement of the ne abode, Sans Souci.  So things ar moving about as fast as I can get then to go right now.

So, my life is a bit disrupted right now, which causes me loads of stress.  Once we can organize the music room and hall I might relax.  Might.  Time to see if there are more Valium taped to the handle of the vacuum cleaner.

We're having a heat wave

A tropical heat wave....so it's not surprising I have on three layers , yes, we are having a heat wave.

And, more good news....snow tonight.  Next week I will be a home owner and be in need of shoveling "my" snow.  Maybe I can get Bernie to do it.  I'll. See him this week to handle the clusterfux of a vacuum cleaner that came without the necessary screws... But thank goodness there were two Valium taped to the handle and I was able to weather, so to speak, that storm.

Spent a great deal of time faxing materials for the house and the closing.  I did not have any new emails from the realtor or mortgage company this morning so I may be good to go for Monday.  I'd like to know what my final costs are so I can get th cashiers check for the closing.

So to calm me this weekend the three muscatels will be outgoing for a nice dinner on Sunday.  Because we are eating dinner so early by my schedule I may opt to have an early breakfast and save myself for dinner.  Red Cedar Grill is the restaurant of choice.

I had a talk with Seth the Development Officer for the library about planting Jerry.  Wouldn't be the first time he'd be potted and probably not the last.  All of that seems a go from the library's standpoint, now we new the Grounds Department approval and that could run $3,000 for a tree to be planted at the library.  That would be considered a donation to the U so should be a tax write off.  Which really would not matter as long as I believe Jerry is where he would have wanted to be and is at peace.

Let's end on an up note ...Ta Da!!!  Nussbaum, a new student at Harvard walks up to an upper classman and asks "where is the student union at?" To which the upper classman responds in a very belittling tone, "here at Harvard we do not end a sentence with a preposition", to which Nussbaum responds "alright, where is the student union at, you asshole?"  Point taken.

One more.  Morty walks into a McDonalds.  "Boy, am I thirsty, am I thirsty.  I haven't had a sip of water in days.  Boy, am I thirsty". A McDonald's employee takes pity on the old guy and offers him a ice cold glass of water, which Morty gratefully drinks.  "Boy," says Morty "was I thirsty!"

More Zen Judaism.

The Rabbi

Was very helpful in regards to Jerry's ashes.  He found for me a site where you can purchase soil for the soul.  That is a composting mixture for ashes in which you can plant a tree, or a shrub for that matter.  And the ashes won't taint the soil (or soul).   It takes the pH and acidity out of the ashes by mixing it with the compost mixture and makes for a lovely potting soil.  Today I am going to see if I can donate a tree to the library and have the ashes and compost mixed with the soil (and soul?).  So this issue may get resolve today.  Until the weather is suitable for planting Jerry can reside with our friend Toni.

Hopefully, I will close on my house, to be known as Sans Souci, on Monday.   It has been like pulling teeth getting the last of the paperwork in, while at the same time worrying about Jerry,.  And today of all days I have a doctor appointment where she will most likely ream me a new one over recent lab work.

Meanwhile it is colder than a well digger's ass out.  Gotta love winter in Michigan.  High of ten degree...Tropical.

I am taking a few weeks off from lessons as my left hand is achy and Mondays of late have been very busy with Sans Souci issues, like closing and getting the contractor in to get my final design plans.

And here it comes...off to work....

Hibernating

Welcome to the very cold new year.  Thank God Hyphen is back, but just so.  She left her appointment book with her missing luggage.  Oh well, I am still a go for today.   Discuss: neW house....new beginning...right?  So, should I scatter Jerry before the move or take him with  me and have that carry over to the new abode?  I am thinking a fresh start and scatter Jerry during spring break in March.  Am I ready? I really don't know.  Something Hyphen and I shall discuss ad naseum.  I am all up in the air about what do do.  Oh, sure, you can weigh in.  But I am leaning towards a scattering to let him be in pieces and peace.  The move might be the perfect way to come to a closure,  I found Jerry dead, laying on the floor of his condo, seemingly peaceful, but that one moment will haunt me the rest of my life.  Time for some closure?  Part of the reason for the new house and move is the lack of Jerry as my friend and neighbor.  I should like to know if I am ready to let go.  But I have never had someone entrust me with their ashes and I really don't have a clue.  Maybe speak with the Rabbi at KI as well as Hyphen.  I want to do right by Jerry (and his car Sassy who is also in ashes in a box In the bag).  I am just Not sure how to proceed.  Hyphen first, Rabbi Z second.  My heart is third.