Well, about this time a year ago I was waiting to hear about closing on my home, Sans Souci (with minor soucis, as it were). I closed on January 20th 2015 and the 21st of January I instantly had buyer's remorse as I went to the now vacant house with the contractor to place the mezzuzahs on the door posts, back and front, and trip, for the first time, up the small step that leads to the living room. I saw the kitchen, bare of cupboards and holes in the walls and thought "what the hell have I gotten myself into?" Which led to lots of extra therapy sessions with Hyphen and other therapeutic moments. I became a mess of emotions; leaving behind memories and lost friends, embarking on a new life in my 60th year. Also, leaving behind a Hyphenated Hyphen who in March was severely injured on her way back to Okemos, leaving me bereft and therapistless to deal with the coming weeks. And for her to deal with massive injuries I thought she'd would never come back from. More on this later.
The week of March 23rd I was summarily packed up at the old residence, a process that took two full days. The 25th of March the movers came and the furniture came and the cable company came and the house was about 99% finished. The real moment came when Sophie's son came and helped me trap three terrified cats for the move five blocks away. The first cat was easy, the big guy, easily trapped and crated. The next, a little more difficult. The last, my oldest and kinda the favorite of the babies, proved to be reluctant to move. Poor Bubba! He was scratched from arm to shining arm. But once moved and released the assembled cats hid, save for Simcha who chose to explore and go with the moment. I eventually found Yankel in basement on a shelf and thought I had lost my guy Gonif as he was not to be found. Found out later he had found a safe place in a nook under the new platform bed.
As I was preparing to return to work some of the plumbing went south, but was easily fixed. Two days later the furnace went. $3,000 later the last of the major repairs on the house were done. By the 13th of April I was ready for my Passover delayed but annual Opening Day of Baseball Season party, replete with hot dogs and buns from Chicago to be cooked on a new grill.
Things were settled. I was getting settled. The bills were rolling in. Taxes, new appliances, furniture, bedding, everything nearly new, a clean slate. More on this later.
The weather turned warm enough and I started working on my yard, which the previous owner had left a mess. I was able to get the leaves cleaned out and the stumps of ugly bushes removed. It was about this time that I noticed I was losing weight, in a good way, by having something positive to do after work and not mindless snacking and couch potato-ing I had been doing in the condo. It was then that DZ challenged me, of sorts, to get a FitBit and I began walking the rambling sidewalks that were my new neighborhood. Five miles a day. I went from 160 to 133 (my current weight) in less than a six months period of time. Not too shabby for not really trying to lose weight. I had a patio installed in the back yard, with thoughts of having Sophie's 70th birthday party and fire pit out there but my bones gave way and I did break a leg. Ten weeks in a boot. I was miserable. The yard went to hell, except for the back yard which I had the good sense to hire a landscaper. But in the height of summer, my favorite time of year, I was home bound a great deal. Missed a lot of work.
And that was the summer of miscontents. I had a temporary therapist, the Bird, who lasted as long as her song did. Then was the duel betwixt Calvin's Mom and Hyphen 2.0, which lead me to Hyphen 2.0. I felt engaged and was working on complex issues, somewhat relieved that I had found a safe haven. Oh, my friends, I felt as though I had found the best therapist of all time. Only to find out in, was it October? that she was planning to retire this coming spring. I was, once again, bereft. Thank goodness for the reflexologist and our sessions of talk therapy. That lead me to LPA (for lack of a better acronym for the newest therapist...our American Girl). To wit, and to woo, I am set for the time. I also fired a number of doctors whom I assessed were being a trifle passive/aggressive in their treatment of me.
So here is is the last day of work for the year. I reflect. The last day of work for Sophie and Petunia's mom. My Spartans are in Texas set to take on the evil empire of Alabama and their lousy crimson tide. What the hell is that any way? And a floppy nozzled elephant for a mascot. Give me Sparty any day. Friends are coming over tomorrow and Friday. We are having a burger luncheon in honor of our retirees...more parties to come. Go Green (and for some reason the cats cannot be trained to say "Go White" on command...go figure)
Well, with some fits and starts that was the year in reverse. A fine year. A hectic year, a year of psychic losses. We finally gave Jerry his rest.
I was sitting in the library's mail room this morning, welling up with tears, not at the thought of Sophie's last day at work, but of all my Hyphens. Seems that Hyphen has recuperated enough to winter in Florida with her husband and is deciding whether to return to practice in the spring, perhaps. I know not the mind. I know I won't go with her. With Hyphen 2.0 I felt a genuine connection, was working and having great sessions, many of which ran over as we dissected the workings of my mind. Thus the tears this morning. Those two Hyphens will never be recovered or revisited. The two women I spent time with in deep and dark discussions are lost. When I left my first therapist in 2005 I left knowing that I had made great strides and we had no more work to do. With the Hyphens things seem so much more unsettled. I have written Hyphen a greeting and I am sorely tempted to write a note to Hyphen 2.0. That's probably not going to happen. I wish them well, but for Hyphen 2.0 I wish she had told me before I connected with her of her imminent plans to retire and that we had not made that connection. Am I the better for having seen her? Not right now. Too much work to do to get to my happy place. And some of the obstacles to that place were put in the road by 2.0. Maybe I should have had the exit session with her for some closure. Too late now and I am not going to put a cherry on the top by wishing her well and saying that is was too bad we had such a good connection.
For the new year I will need to sit down with DZ and work on getting my finances in order and rein in the spending on the house. The Winter Solstice has come and gone and days are incrementally getting longer. Today it is safe to walk home, yesterday, not so much with the snow and ice. The spring is coming, I know this in my bones. I will see Sophie tomorrow, I know this for a fact. I will call her tonight, I know this for a fact. How the American Girl (LPA) will work out remains to be seen. Life is full of uncertainties. And I am one of them.
Happy New Year...Go Green!!! (damn cats...)
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