A woman walks into a bar...

Sophie and her friend Clementine are out walking their respective dogs.  Clementine says "Soph, why don't we go into that bar down the street and have a drink"  Sophie replies "Clementine, what about the dogs?  They'll never let us into the bar with these dogs!"  Clementine replies, "Just follow my lead" to wit she pulls out a pair of sunglasses, puts them on and approaches the bouncer at the door.  "Ma'am", says the bouncer "You can't come into the bar with the dog"  "Why" says Clementine "This is my seeing eye dog!"  To wit the bouncer replies "I have never seen an Afghan Hound as a guide dog, but I guess it takes all kinds" and he lets her in.  Sophie is right behind her with her dog, dark glasses on.  She approaches the bouncer.  The bouncer repeats his remark about not allowing dogs in the bar.  Sophie responds "Why this is my trusty seeing eye dog".  The bouncer replies "Ma'am, I have seen all sorts of seeing eye dogs but I have never seen a chihuahua as one".  To wit Sophie responds "They gave me a fucking chihuahua!?!?"

So a woman walks into her therapist office and says "Hyphen, will I even feel like a grown up or will I die as childlike as I entered this world?  I just feel once I come into my own and feel grown up and in control of my life I am going to drop dead"  To wit Hyphen responds "They gave you a fucking chihuahua?"