I was able to, through Face Book, catch up with an old friend who now resides and works in the Windy City. I felt like singing "still crazy after all these years". Old friend who I had the biggest crush on years ago. Now, basically, I am so happy being single I can't imagine the work it must take to maintain a relationship. I mean I have trouble seeing a good outcome in anything. One of my first thoughts about the new house was a sad one and I just can't help going there. We humans are the only animal that has a conscious knowledge of our own death. That is a certainty. Death, that is, as well as taxes. Although I would rather deal with the latter then the former. So saying I am happy I really mean to say I am as happy as I can be in the face of mortality. I recall Mickey Mantle's line "if I knew I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself". There are days I feel like that. Approaching sixty one yars I can look back and see what I have squandered. But, I have time left, time to and for myself. Now this is serious folks. I intend to make it all count, all of it. No more fuxing around. Time to take it all in and put the best face on it. There may be very sad things I will experience in my new home but by the same token there will be many happy occasions and, yes, some meaningless ones. Maybe the best that can be said is to make the most of the meaningless experiences and make your own meaning. I wonder who I am channelling now? The family I no longer have? The friends I have loved and lost? My mother is still hovering over my right shoulder like a demon whispering in my ear her venomous meanderingx. And that, my friends, is something for me and Hyphen to deal with co e Monday.
No comments:
Post a Comment