The Tree

About two and a half years ago my neighbor and close friend, Jerry, passed away and I had the misfortune, although not as unfortunate for me as it was for him, of finding his dead body in his condo.  I was and am the PR for the estate and saw to it that his wishes to be cremated were followed.  He was very estranged from his family.  We were each others family.  So I had both his ashes and the ashes of his late cat Sassy in the lovely green bag form Gorsline Runciman in my condo.  Not having had to deal with a decedent's ashes (Jews do not, as a rule, cremate (except for Joan Rivers) especially since the horror and symbolism of the Holocaust and the ovens).  I digress, and I am quite good at that.  So, I asked the Rabbi what to do with the ashes.  Jerry wanted to be scattered on campus, a position not prohibited by university regulations, but I really did not want or know how to deal with ashes.  Rabbi Z suggested composting the ashes and planting a tree.  Well I wasn't going to plant a tree in Israel but one on campus seemed like a great idea.  And so it will be on September 29th at 9:00 we will plant a sugar maple on the path between the library and Union, a path Jerry traversed daily.  A small ceremony, a few words and then closure.  Now Jerry had his friends at the library and many from the old hipster contingent will be there.  As much for him as for me perhaps and to help with closure for us all.  A celebration of life.  I do not want to do a "funeral meal" post tree planting.  I just want to get back to work.  This is a big enough event as it is without adding the symbolism of another aspect of a funeral.  I had a wake for Jerry shortly after his passing.  But then Gorsline Runciman Funeral Home had to call me several times to pick up his ashes.  I just like the Jewish tradition of burial within twenty four hours (unless that would involve a Shabbat).  I guess I am not one for hoisting a beer on occasions in honor of the departed.  Now I will and have lit a Yahrzeit candle but ashes, ashes, we all fall down. 

I am honored that many people want to come to this.  And I an "heartened" that many will come to help me with the closure to this chapter of life.  This is really the last of the unfinished business of the condo.  That will be the real closure for me.  To successfully move on to my new life; to leave behind what is meant to be left and to to accept what has been given.

So if you would like to come to the ceremony mark your calendar for the 29th of September at 9:00...we will be the second tree on the left en route to the Union.  Stop by.