2:42 a.m.

Yes, that is what time it is.  I woke up about an hour ago and have since been unable to fall back to sleep.  So I figured since Sophie is picking me up a little later this morning I would just get up and move to the couch. Got dressed and turned the TV on and am just chilling and resting like my daddy told me I should if I can't sleep.  Just resting the body.  Th mind is going a million miles an hour.  I will go to the music room in a trice and practice my Jamming Jews program.  We are supposed to meet next week and I want s actual playlist I can work off of. I am going to play Somewhere over the Rainbow and Catherine is to sing it but we haven't gotten together yet.  All of this seems so up in the air that it is causing me some stress.  But at least I can go in and grab a guitar and play.  Work on those calluses

What is also causing my wakefulness is the ache in my bad hip, the one I fractured eleven years ago, has chosen now to act up.  But it is hurting the length of the femur.  Ah, for some Restoril.  Mayhap I shall call Picone and ask for another refill.  I have just got to get more than a few hours of good sleep a night.  Otherwise that will set off the cycle of mania and depression.  MUST GET REST!

I did have a good session with 2.0 yesterday and I will look into more mindfulness exercises.  The one nice thing of late is that my new glasses have come in and I can, as the song goes, see clearly now.  But every little, and I mean little, ache and pain in my legs is a potential fracture.  I am obsessed with the osteoporosis DX.  I just can't seem to walk enough to calm me at work.   Maybe I will attempt a walk to get sandwiches for lunch.  I also need to get my labs done in the next few weeks but won't do both tj same day.

But, bottom line, I apologize for belaboring my health issues,  I am just afraid I am falling apart, both physically and emotionally.  Seems like everything of late has been in crisis mode.  From the cats' behaviors to my appliances acting up.  No great mystery here.  Time to pull in and revert to quiet self to minimize damages and just turtle-like my behavior.

But in parting some zen....sometimes you lose, sometimes you learn.