Whatever you do, if you are in a mentoring relationship and you are either, don't take it to the next level, i.e., one of close friendship. I wanted to be mentored by someone with vast computer skills and they paired me with the Polar Vortex. She was a lonely married lady who spent more time with friends than with hubby. And now she is a lonely single lady. But I digress. The mentoring relationship went well and she began to join my crew, Gastric and The Pre-Soul Sucker, for lunches. Then we began going to dinners and the occasional shows. Then she was available to take me to doctor appointments, of which there were many. That's where the problem reared it's ugly head. I gave unto her medical power of attorney. Well, she had blossomed into a friend...
She began to take over more and more aspects of my life. And I let it happen. It came to pass that I needed hiatal hernia surgery and she was there for me. The surgery was supposed to be done laparoscopically but when I awoke I had an incision from breast bone to navel and I was attached to a drain. She had, as medical power of attorney, ok'd more aggressive surgery, after the surgeon was too inept to do it any other way. But doctors, authority figures and she respected them above all. I was out of work an unexpected six weeks. Without pay, I might add, as I had little sick time. Oh, but she was there to do my laundry and shop and visit, and be there for me.
Fast forward a year and the hiatal hernia returned and at some point require more surgery. Polar continued to break and eat with us. And I was feeling suffocated by the relationship. The death stroke was an endoscopy I had, where the doctor spoke only to her and never to me, either before or after the procedure. I mean, why not...she was almost a doctor. I was very upset and proceeded to write a long letter to her about how I couldn't deal with her usurpation of my life. We parted ways. She, like the later Soul Sucker, treated Gastric like a pariah. Trailer trash she was to Polar.
Well, that relationship ended and as has the relationship with The Soul Sucker. And when last seen, those two parted as best friends, united in their contempt of Gastric and me.
Now, given two busted relationships at work and Patricia (also Mr. Librarian....another one) one might surmise I attract this sort of relationship because I have no backbone. And extricating myself from these relationships is never pretty. I still have the copy of the letter I sent to Polar. I have the angry words I parted ways with Mr. Librarian. I think unless I set better boundaries with Patricia things may be headed in that direction.
I should hasten to add that when I had recent surgery and Soul Sucker was there I told her not to let them do additional surgery without my okay. She took this to mean I didn't trust her. Quite the contrary. I wanted to maintain control and didn't trust the doctors. That was another nail in the coffin of our relationship and became a bone of contention in that awful meeting we three had. I had to sign paperwork releasing her from some obligations. None of which was binding and was just mean spirited on her part. I have since shifted medical power of attorney to a cousin who is an attorney. There!
This is not to say I have no friends left. There is Gastric. The Evil Nutella, Brody's Mom, and a slew of others I can't mention by name without talking to them first.
Thus ends the story of Polar.
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