According to my therapist, Hyphen, I "suck at confrontations". Those are her exact words. And they hit home. And as I am reading Susan Forward's book "Emotional Blackmail", I realize I am a perfect example of someone who can be emotionally blackmailed. Taking the characteristics of integrity, compassion and the need to be the good girl, I am grist for the blackmail mill. And speaking of suck, and I quote "Emotional blackmail sucks the safety out of any relationship." So, we return to the scene of the crime and the Soul Sucker. And I quote "Blackmailers demand and demean. In their attempt to show the rightness of what they want they cast aspersions on our character and question our motives." This was the Soul Sucker at her best.
Gastric, Soul Sucker (and from here on out I will refer to her as The Sucker) and I were friends of almost thirty years standing. The Sucker did her best to divide and conquer Gastric and me. When I wasn't around The Sucker would go to Gastric and complain about me. For example, she thought I took too many drugs for the Bipolar and the only reason I saw my psychiatrist was to get drugs (a big duh in my book). I think she feigned concern to Gastric. The Sucker was also convinced I shared Hyphen Therapy with Gastric and not her. She set Gastric up again me also. When Gastric was not there she literally got me so angry at Gastric that when she returned to work I couldn't even look her in the eyes I was so upset. The Sucker would tell me how Gastric was ruining her life by making bad choices and we had to help her set things right. She was manipulating both of us. When I finally stood my ground and said Gastric had her own life to live and we should respect her choices I think that is what started the beginning of the end. The blackmail wasn't working anymore and she was resorting to more and more complex forms of blackmail. She "...demanded and demean." Gastric and I were unfit examples of the library. We both take medication that produces upper turtles and this explosion of turtles shocked and chagrined The Sucker and we were naught but white trash. We were thus demeaned. The last meeting we had was doomed at the outset as she had no intention of reaching a rapprochement with us. Maybe she was cutting all her ties at the library by alienating everyone, and thus make it 'easier' to retire and not look back. I don't know.
In any event this book has really opened my eyes and helped me to understand my behavior. And now on to making me less susceptible to blackmail...read on MacDuff.
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