Dinner and a walk

I went out to dinner Friday night with Ms. Bypass and The Shutterbug. We dined at a place in Old Town aptly named Meat, a hole in the wall of a BBQ place that would qualify as a dive and the food is fabulous. I had the brisket and sampled their BBQ sauces. The meat was perfectly smoke and tender as can be. I also copped a rib from Ms. Bypass which was reminiscent of the ribs I grew up with in Detroit. Dry rubbed and no sauce. And fabulous. After dinner we walked Old Town a bit and visited a few shops that were still open. But this is not the reason I am still awake. I saw Hyphen today, ostensibly to work on some trauma issues regarding The Ex. It turned into trauma issues that bubble to the surface because of The Viper. I finally opened the note she left me and it was to announce how much she misses me and how sick she physically is. Wanted me to order her some non-latex gloves and a wound cleaning spray. And don't ask why because I assure you that you really don't want to know. So I was stressing for almost two days over what turned out to be nothing other than a sad little note. Hyphen believes (and I concur) that I am better off without Patricia and I should end the friendship sooner rather than later as it is triggering some unpleasant memories from my youth. I feel badly for her and her illnesses but that is no longer and excuse for maintaining what is essentially and unhealthy relationship. So I am unable to sleep right now as I am a little agitate. So I thought I might regale you with tales of light. When I first moved into my little condo I would never turn the lights on. In the summer this was not a problem but come late fall and early winter I would literally be in the dark from the time I got home from work, the only light would be that emanating from the TV. Pure depression. I did get over that but I can't tell you when. But of late I have been sleeping with the lights on. Now it is an illusion. It stays light until I get up and turn the lights off. For some reason it seems to be a comfort. It wards off the sensation of losing two minutes of sunlight a day since the solstice. I make sure to turn off the aquarium lights but the regular lamps stay on late. It is bright as day in here now and although I drifted off for a bit, it was no more than a short nap. Yes, I feel one of those dark nights of the soul creeping in on me. Up all night pondering how to tell the Viper she is no longer part of my life. Hyphen gave me some words and I may paraphrase but ultimately I must used my own words. When her supplies come in on Monday I will take them down and maybe have a short talk with her. More likely, like Brody's Mom, I may write a long note as my written skills are superior to my verbal skills. I get tongue tied and can easily be bullied in person. I know that is how Brody's Mom felt when she wrote her note, that the Viper would rail against her and cause her emotional pain. The Viper has a long and somewhat proud history of driving people away from her. She doesn't realize how toxic her moods can be. I once said while I was down there that a pizza sounded good. And after Jeopardy I left. The next time I went down I was castigate for the pizza remark as I did not order pizza for US that night. And that deeply hurt her. As I was preparing to leave because of the tongue lashing I was taking, my hands pushing up on the arms of the chair, she stopped and became Little Mary Sunshine, I made an innocent remark and was held to task for it. Consequently since that time when I have gone down I do not mention food. I can't tell her that I still go to shows at Wharton with Brody's Mom as that would be perceived of as a betrayal of the Viper. I have been rading books on setting boundaries and each time I set one with her she moves the line. I have read books on toxic people and emotional blackmail and recognize these traits in her. I must make the break and hang out more with wonderful people like Ms. Bypass and Shutterbug, whose recent photo on Face Book makes me more determined to dissolve the relationship with the Viper. And on this I must be strong.