Well, I saw Hyphen and got out a little over two hours ago and I have been laying in the fetal.position for the last few hours. It was a difficult session, as they all have been lately. The books I have been reading have kept me focused on a number of issues so even outside the confines of the office I am working on them. I have been reading a great deal and processing that. Now I am processing the session, to wit to woo, Hyphen referred to herself as Hyphen. I love it. We discussed some of my past injurious behavior and how Hyphen impacted the current state of my being. Process, process, process. The former Clovella is basically out of my life. I doubt if I can resume social relations with her. I did like how Hyphen framed the conversation or letter to Patricia, saying I just could not be the type of friend she needed at that was a painful recognition for me. And the best part of it is that is it very true.
I haven't been able to eat all day as I have been very anxious. Lunch was a Coke. Strangely still anxious and not hungry. Maybe some more time in the fetal position is needed. I've decided Gonif is my role model today. Here is his version of my present position. After the shoddy treatment I gave him last Friday, to which I have owned up, I am being a good mom today, the kind I wish I could have had and the kind I truly want to be.
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